Breeders.

2017 October Horror Challenge XIII – Breeders

Oh yes, Wizard Video. Charles Band’s VHS distribution company was responsible for bringing home all time classics like The Driller Killer and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre as well as notoriously awful trash like I Spit on Your Grave. Somewhere above the latter but nowhere near the former lurks Breeders. A movie about an alien that descends to earth to sexually assault as many human virgins as possible since thanks to [technobabble] that’s the only way it can reproduce.

How to watch it:1
Amazon Prime
Blu-ray
DVD
VHS

This is one of those movies that kinda sorta tries to do more with its story than you’d expect from the premise, but the half-baked nature of the production holds it back. The cast and writer/director Tim Kincaid subject us to quite a few deliveries that were clearly the first and only take, and the design of the creature effects are a goofy failure on pretty much every level.2 They’re The Alien Factor levels of bad and are wisely shown on screen as little as possible. On the up side, the cast is so bad that the attempts at drama easily slides into laughable despite the subject matter. Unfortunately the film’s main character, Dr. Gamble Pace (Teresa Farley) is noticeably bad even among this cast. Dr. Pace is written with an array of emotions in mind, but Farley’s only emotion is to stare blankly while slowly reciting lines in the flattest way possible. Tim Kincaid is primarily known as a director of adult films, and it shows here with what parts of the film are prioritized.

Teresa Falrley manages to have this same facial expression for the entire film.

What “saves” the movie, and elevates it from a campy bad film to one so baffling it’s worth watching, is the way Kincaid writes the film’s male characters. Most of the various men who show up in the film are not violent, they’re “nice guys,” but each is controlling or manipulative in some way, and there’s an intentional parallel drawn to say that the film’s deceptive alien rapist isn’t particularly out there compared to the men women already deal with every day. These moments manage to be effective and in some cases almost work despite being scattered within a trashy low budget movie with tons of gratuitous nudity where every female character (except one) only exists to be impregnated by the monster. even if the flat acting and very loose script3 are generally just as bad as they are at any other point in the film.

The coolest looking creature in the film proves to be bulletproof, but then instantly dies when poked by a piece of wood.

But don’t worry, the movie still concludes with several minutes of each of the alien’s victims gathering to cavort in a pool of sticky white stuff before our heroes decide they must be electrocuted even though both the monster and its spawn have already been destroyed. Pretty harsh Tim Kincaid.

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  1. Please don’t confuse this with the insanely bad 1997 film of the same name and premise.
  2. One notable exception is about fifteen minutes in with a Videodrome-eque depiction of the creature emerging from someone.
  3. Seriously there’s characters sort of flubbing a line and just rolling with it, characters repeat a line in the same conversation, it’s crazy.
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Chris Rasa
Chris’ only known functions are learning about video games, watching movies, and writing about both. Much of his published work can be found on Hardcore Gaming 101, where he has worked as a contributing editor since 2004 and, more recently contributed to HG101’s ever growing selection of books.